Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Henge Stones, It's The Henge Stones

With the Bank Holiday Weekend approaching, it's feared that there may be more clashes between Police and Druids at Penge Henge. Many people regard the stones of Penge Henge to possess supernatural or pagan powers at certain critical points in the calendar, although other claim that they simply gather there to get drunk. The Police have trusted in the mystical properties of the Henge in Penge, south London, since their foundation, and traditionally gather there on the last Sunday of August to meditate, consider the natural beauty of Penge, and try on each other's helmets.

However, in recent years the suburb has been colonised by middle-class Druids who claim the gathering is noisy and frightens the children. Violence has erupted in the past as Druids have sealed off the Henge or attempted to break up gatherings of coppers.

"It's outrageous," says Merewic Thornshadow, a Druid of the fifth order. "We pay the rates and earn an honest living. I don't see why our right to enjoy the holiday in peace should be threatened by a bunch of layabout filth. They bring all sorts of animals with them, you know, sniffer dogs and horses and that. And why would they need sniffer dogs? Looking for drugs, that's why. I'm shocked, and so is my wife."

Meanwhile, the police claim provocation by the Druids. "We don't need no heavy Druids laying this fascist crap on us, man," says 42-year-old WPC Mabel Cooper of Richmond. "They go to far. We're just peacefully going about our business, and we get charged by these huge crowds of Druids. You should see the number that just come after a few constables."

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