Friday, July 16, 2004

The TfL Vision for the Railways

Mayor Ken is to take over London's railways. What will this mean?

* Old Routemasters to be used as spare carriages on congested lines

* Now the Mayor's office has King's Cross, Marylebone, Fenchurch Street and Euston stations, it can charge everyone who uses them £200

* Prince's Risborough, Luton and the other outlying commuter areas are to be reclassified as "Lesser London"

* Trains now liable for congestion charge

* "Normal" service to be renamed "wonderful" service

* "Integration" of train, Tube and bus services mean that delays will be harmonised across the system as soon as scientists have developed a way to cause buses to suffer signal failures. Similarly, commuters will be pleased to hear that strikes will now be synchronised across all three services

* Birmingham next on Ken's list

* By 2008, railways will demonstrate the same level of improvement that the Tube has since 2000.

29 Comments:

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but where will Croydon be in this great scheme of things...no one thinks of Croydon do they,

and to be honest who can blame them

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Blogger Smacked Face said...

A pedant writes:
Actually... Liverpool Street was the fourth station in Monopoly - Euston was part of the turquoise set which included Angel Islington and Pentonville Road. Go directly to jail and do not pass go.

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Blogger Taxloss said...

Gaaaaah!

I knew I had it wrong. But Euston sounded so right.

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