Thursday, September 02, 2004

Water, Water Everywhere

The appalling wet August that London has suffered means that residents of the Greater London area are now entitled to a rebate from the Meteorological Office for loss of summer. This ordinance, brought in after the famously wet summer of 1952, entitles you to a welly full of crisp fivers, with deductions for any holiday you may have taken outside the city.

However, be advised that in taking up this rebate, you render yourself liable for a surcharge from Thames Water under the Water Supply (Freedom of Choice) Act 1991 section 15c: Involuntary Supplies as a large quantity of water was delivered to your house for free over the summer. As this surcharge often exceeds the Met Office rebate, the option is little used, but taking it out is invaluable for those wishing to learn the meaning of the phrase "mind-numbingly Byzantine bureaucracy".


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here in God's own county we avoid the surcharges you daft
Londoners are liable to by having Met Office forecasters
visiting each head of household and performing one free
sexual act, dependent on the individual's desire - not
lasting more than ten minutes - in lieu of a rebate.

Taking your rebate in this manner negates any liability
you may have to your water supply company.

Amy Tupp.
Wetwang, Yorkshire.

2:50 pm  
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