What The Numbers On Your Tube Ticket Mean
A: Chance of arriving on time (%).
B: How many minutes into journey train will stop unexpectedly in a tunnel.
C: Length of that stop in tunnel in minutes.
D: Number of minutes into tunnel stop before someone will remark "This wouldn't happen in France/Germany/America/Japan, you know" on the basis of a week they spent there in 1994, during which they used the local railway network precisely once.
E: Number of curry varieties man standing next to you must have eaten the previous night to achieve his remarkable mixture of halitosis and body odours.
F: Estimated total length of delays to your journey in minutes.
G: Number of people in carriage who think they are on a Circle Line train (does not apply when using Circle Line).
H: Number of loud, badly behaved teenage German exchange students in your carriage.